i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
