He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
