I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Terrible idea I love it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
