Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
