chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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