STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
