you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
