omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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