thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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