i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
