why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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