what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
