do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
