I smell stomach acid.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
