I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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