Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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