for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
