Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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