So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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