Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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