I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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