He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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