Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
