dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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