This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
