We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
