SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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