My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
