yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
