yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
