I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
