Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
