Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
