omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
