I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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