whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
