You work out of a Hotel?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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