Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
