Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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