Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
