girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
