his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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