how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
