This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
