I accidentally had phone sex last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
