Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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