i just wanna soil my oats bro
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
is it fun? or sober?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
