Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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