I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I AM VODKA MAN
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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