Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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