We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
