i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
