is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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