At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
