you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
