Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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